Musings of a Wench

Sure, I've always been a little dark and twisty

This has been a hard year, emotionally. I spend most of the winter moored down in a nasty bout of depression, made worse by the fact I was sick pretty much every single week, always with something new. I know depression and illness go hand in hand, and in my case the season hurts too - going through old records makes a clear case for my depression being worse in the winter than in the summer.

But things were better. Winter ended and the sunlight returned. I started to feel more like a human. After a half dozen doctors appointment and hours of online hypochondriacing, I was sent to an allergist, who very quickly diagnosed that I had outgrown almost all of my multitude of childhood allergies - all but one: cats. And it was a doozie. My inlaw's cat was more or less destroying my health - it had got so bad my heart had started to have this scary irregularity. Not to mention the infections, the illnesses, the missed work, the inability to get my heart rate up while exercising, the lung xrays and the bottom tiredness that goes with an endless illness. I last went to their house a few days before the allergist day, and I haven't been back since - 2 months and counting, and I haven't felt this physically healthy in years. It's glorious. (I am very allergic - from the single pin prick, I had a loonie sized swell in 15 minutes. It was the size of my palm by the end of the hour. My entire arm was red and puffy by that afternoon. And I spent the next three days with a violent allergy attack, complete with watery eyes, sneezes and sinus issues. From a single drop in my blood stream!)

So things have been better, and I am going to have to stay conscious and be diligent that they don't get worse. I am not trying to tell myself that I'm not allowed to be sad or anything stupid like that. I've just got to be careful I don't slide too far down that slope...

Labels: life, solo year, twisty

posted by Morgan @ 3:55 p.m.