Musings of a Wench

Stress

Maybe it's just SAD. The constant darkness. But the weather is so crazy good it's hard to believe. Maybe the lack of vitamin D production and my upcoming period and the stress of this whole holiday and some fucked up expectations (as is almost always the problem) and the stress and the stress and the stress is the problem. I don't know. All I know is that I keep crying and I want him to just not be here for a while because I can't handle my own bad thoughts and I can't bear any more bad vibes from him. I just can't. I can't breathe.

Tomorrow is a new year's party at Darren's, and I am hosting the tradition New Year's Day party my maternal family has been having for more than 25 years. Just a small thing, only 20 people. Ha.

On the up side, my desk is almost clean, I've made the cookies, planned and shopped for the next two days worth of food and probably not going to have to kill myself before Tuesday, when I go back to work and with any luck John becomes a happy person again. Boy can't handle not working. Don't know why. Wish I did.

Me? I just can't handle everything. You know, in a general kind of way.

My skin itches and I have about 10 cuts on my hands, only half of which I can explain. I am torn between crawling out of my skin and just going and lying on my back in a dark room until it all goes away for a little while.

Good bye, 2005. You've been good, you've been bad, but over all I'm really glad you're over.

posted by Morgan @ 8:27 p.m.